Sometimes you’re too busy falling that you can’t see the way out.
You fall so fast, you panic as you try to grasp hold of anything that passes.
You want to stop falling but things happen too quick for you to respond and think clearly.
It’s like there’s a whirlwind of bad things dragging you down and you have no control.
Sometimes the hole is deep, you feel like you’re falling forever and it’ll never end.
Sooner or later the inevitable will always happen.......
You hit rock bottom.....
You hit out but you’re too exhausted
You feel alone and in a dark place....
And then you start to awaken and slowly move your body. You become aware of the pain and realise your body is broken, you know you need time to heal.
You sit for a while and you have time to reflect.
And then you look up.....
There is light
You can see a way out
You sit some more and plot.
It’s going to be hard and take some time but you’ve got to do it, it’s the only way you’re getting out of there.
And so you gather your thoughts and rest a while until you feel stronger.
You start to climb
It’s hard work
You don’t feel strong enough
You carry on
You fall and get back up and start to climb again.
You’re tired and frustrated
You fall again
And so you start to climb one more time
You feel spent in every which way
Physically you feel you have nothing left
Mentally you are lost
You feel emotionally void, you don’t even know who you are anymore
But You continue to climb
You continue to look up
The light at the top seems closer and brighter
Your senses are returning
You feel the warmth of the sun as you look up to the light
You smell the grass in the meadow above
You taste the earthiness of the damp air in the dark hole
And then you hear something
A sound from above.....
Your voice comes to life as you shout for help
And then you see it...
A friendly face
But then it turns and goes
You lose all hope and consider letting go
you decide to shout again.
Then suddenly a ladder appears with the friendly face and a helping hand
You climb and reach out for the hand.
You’re pulled from the hole and clamber out on your hands and knees.
You stand and take a deep breath of the sweet smelling fresh air.
As you look around you see there are holes everywhere, some big some so small you might just trip over them. Some are big but shallow and others are slightly hidden but they are deep... you wonder how you never saw them before
Through your wondering You understand why you fell down. You’re Mind was too busy, you never realised where you were or where you were going.
You look around and the friendly face is gone... You question why they left so quickly?
In the distance you see a place you’ve always wanted to go to.
You stand and take in the beauty of life,
You feel free
You are suddenly grateful for the little things.
You marvel at the world and where you can go.
You remember who you are and why you’re here.
You look back at where you came from.
With a strength and power you never knew you had you take strides towards your chosen destination
And so you start on your new journey feeling strong and confident.
Watching out for the holes in the ground, making sure you don’t trip up.
With every step your heart exudes love and gratitude for the opportunity you have been given
you hear something from one of the holes, it sounds like a cry for help.
You rush over to the sound and look over the edge into a deep dark hole. You see a pair of eyes glistening with despair as the light hits them. You smile and turn
Now where is that ladder?
Left to their own devices I’m certain a child will excel in their chosen passion regardless of education.
Children naturally learn about what interests them and as I witnessed today, when it comes to doing things they love, they become determined, excited, and keen to learn.
Today my 6yr old Oliver begged me to take him to the driving range. ( his grandad takes him maybe once a month but had most recently taken him just 2 days ago! ) He whinged and whined consistently and persistently for a looooong time before I relented. He then became excited as we arrived and got straight down to hitting his balls.
Oliver was doing well and I let him get on with it (because I have no clue when it comes to golf) as I sat and watched whilst enjoying a coffee with a friend.
What happened next amazed me........
There was a man next to Oliver who was clearly very good at hitting the ball and hitting it far! I looked over to see Oliver now turned around facing the man and examining what he was doing. I’ve never seen him concentrate so much and analyse someone so intently. He watched the man set up his shot, position himself , practice his swing and then follow through with his shot. Without a word to anyone, Oliver then turned himself around and emulated the golfers actions with a look of sheer determination. This kid is a very loud and rowdy 6 yr old!! But for that moment, he was calm, quiet and determined to hit that ball.
So... What did this teach me?
1. If you want something, make it known - shout it from the rooftops if you have to. The more people that know about your goal the more you are likely to come across people who want to help you achieve it.
2. Be persistent - it makes other know you’re serious about whatever you want.
3. Express your excitement - happiness is infectious and people are more likely to cheer you on when you’re doing something you love
4. Get to it - just make it happen and be an action taker
5. Surround yourself with people who are good at what you want to do.
6. Emulate those you admire. Watch & learn
7. Be consistent - Try, try and try again. Practice makes perfect ........ or at least it makes you hit golf balls further!
9. Just Do It! - Be an action taker and make it happen
Having said all this, it no wonder my son is the way he is. From the moment he was conceived I worked on his energies and made a conscious effort to install positive beliefs into him so he would believe he could achieve anything he wanted and know he has the power to make his dreams come true.
Unfortunately for most people, our parents didn’t know about personal development. They didn’t know the things they said and did would have a lasting influence over us and affect our future happiness.
Luckily for us, we now live in a time of information and empowerment. We are able to address our shortfalls and find help and support to make long lasting positive change.
If you’re ready to re-write your belief systems and move forward with confidence and clarity to a happy and healthy future. Check out my online courses here or drop me an email to find out more. firstname.lastname@example.org
Because we eat too many doughnuts!.... Yeah really we do! Well I did anyway......
But there’s a reason for eating so many doughnuts; I NEEDED to, like REALLY needed to.
I needed the quickest sugar fix I could get to keep my brain functioning and get me through the day. Us mums are tired beyond words, we’re completely spent in every which way.
Whether your children are newborn or middle aged. If you have children you will alway be a mother...... and with that from the first moment of their conception or arrival comes stress.
Physically we’re recovering from birth. At its best we might just be a little bruised but for most we experience physical trauma of some degree. We deal with injury, blood loss, dehydration, sleep deprivation, hormonal changes and lactation all in a matter of hrs following childbirth. All of this physical stress and trauma cause nutrient deficiencies as the body uses its reserves to heal and adapt to its new role leading to more energy loss and changes in mood.
Emotionally we’re a mess. Dealing with all of the physical changes, coupled with the emotional effects of trying to meet our own (completely naive and unrealistic) expectations of motherhood ( oh and let’s not forget everyone else’s expectations too!) we simply don’t know whether we’re coming or going. If I’m honest with myself, 8 yrs on and I still find myself worrying if I’m doing it all right....... Then I remember that winging motherhood is what works for me and a happy mummy means a happy household. Whatever works for me HAS to work for my family, let’s face it..... ya mums are the ones holding it all together 😜
So In a nutshell... mums are tired (dog tired) and emotional and they need perking up (with doughnuts 🍩😁)
Physiologically we’re in a state of stress, sending our bodies into survival mode which means you either go into fight mode or flight mode.
Us fatties... we go into fight mode, meaning two things; our body thinks it needs to bulk out to protect itself from a physical fight but also it switches to survival mode because it believes it’s being starved...... and it is.......
It’s starved of sleep. This is the major biggie for mums especially new mums. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and mums know why...... it’s hell. It causes us to step out of bed and onto the sugar rollercoaster just so we can open our eyes in the morning. Fat mums live off sugar and caffeine ..... FACT! The trouble with this is it causes our bodies to be....Starved of nutrients - and so makes fat out of what it can and holds onto it for dear life thinking it’s gonna need every last bit of energy in that fat should the nutrient deficiency continue. ( remember - although you’re filling your cake hole with doughnuts, biscuits and coffee, your body still thinks it’s being starved because it’s not receiving any nutrients that it needs. Meaning you continue to feel hungry and crave sugar cos your body thinks it wants energy when in fact it wants vitamins, minerals and nutrients ) a catch 22 situation you crave sugar first thing in the morning because you need the instant hit of energy but this then causes your blood sugar to spike and then suddenly drop, causing you to feel tired and lethargic and crave more sugar - and so the cycle continues.
It’s starved of water making it retain every drop it can. It makes sense that lactating mums need more water in their diet to account for the extra fluid that needs to be made by the body to provide the baby with milk...... now imagine that you lost a lot of blood during childbirth ( something which I feel is just not monitored or controlled enough. If at all) your water intake would have to increase to help your body create more blood.
Whether you breast fed or not, I believe the western world is chronically dehydrated from birth. We have replaced our inherent thirst sensation with the desire to eat causing the health and obesity epedemic taking over the western nations.
And most of all......
Our fat bodies are starved of Air - The one thing we really cannot live without and yet we take it for granted that we don’t even have to think about breathing. But all this stress causes our breathing to become shallow and likewise shallow breathing causes your body stress. It seems we have forgotten or unlearned the natural practice of deep diaphragmatic breathing. Instead we now hold our breathe when we’re anxious and tend to take ‘sips’ of air with a few sighs thrown in for good measure.
How do you know if you’re shallow breathing? When you take a deep breathe, notice if your chest and shoulders rise. If they do then you are shallow breathing.
And finally we are starved of movement - Because we are so tired and stressed we tend to sit on our butts and not really move....... Unless we are heading to a local coffee shop or soft play to meet up with our mummy friends to consume more caffeine and fill our cake holes......(sorry but it’s true)
The thing is..... Structure govern function. Our bodies are designed to move. If you don’t use your body for what it’s made to do then it will start to change its structure to fit its new function. If all you do is sit on the couch and eat cookies all day, your body will respond and adapt so you literally will merge with the couch and struggle to move.
So what can us mums do to get off the sugar-coaster and get a ticket on the health train to slimsville.....
It’s simple really. To get your body out of starvation mode you need to feed it...... consistently with what it needs. You need to nourish your mind and body in the following ways.
1. Get some rest even if you can’t get a full 8hrs during the night. Make time through the day to switch off all appliances and rest when your baby / child does.
2. Everyday drink 1/2 fl. oz of water for every lb you weigh - do this for a few days and you will switch your thirst sensation back on and actually start to feel thirsty despite all the water you are now drinking.
3. Nourish yourself with fruit, veg, protein and complex carbohydrates
- Place your hands over your stomach so the fingertips just touch.
- Take a deep breathe in, making your belly rise and your ribs expand (your fingertips should part approx 1 inch)
This may take a few times to learn but each time concentrate on the breathing and see if you can find you natural breathe
5. Move your body.
Walking is what your body was designed to do. Get out and walk for 30mins everyday. Come rain or shine use the time to breathe in the fresh air and nourish your mind with visualisation, gratitude and meditation. You will only have the one mind and body so cherish it with loving thoughts and praise and it will repay you with health & vitality
And finally nourish your heart with love 💞
Contact me if you want to know more about how to make positive long lasting change for your mind & body.
This is all well and good I hear you say. But what about those skinny, Minnie mums???? They must be stressed too???
The answer is, they are! They are just as stressed as you but their bodies go into flight mode. This causes them to be on constant high alert. These mums are the ones always buzzing round doing something. They struggle to stay still and are the natural runners and athletes of the world. Physically they are prone to suffer with digestive issues though.
You don’t want to!
There, that’s it..... simple really, isn’t it?
Or is it?
I think we all know it’s not that simple, but when all is said and done the real reason you’re struggling to lose weight is because in some way, more often than not, subconsciously you don’t want to change. For whatever reason, you don’t want go back to being the person you used to be when you were a size 10 ( or whatever your ideal size is) there’s some other self sabotaging fear coming into play stopping you from achieving your weight loss goals. (Or any goals in fact)
Right now you feel safe and so your survival instincts are acting as your weight thermostat to keep you right where you are. Your subconscious believes you want to stay in your current state because subconsciously you have made yourself be this way and so your subconscious wants to keep you this way because thats where it believes you want to be.
I’ll use myself as an example....
I’m currently overweight. Yes me, a trained fitness instructor qualified in nutrition and physical therapy and I’m overweight! Since having my boys ( who are now 6&8) I’ve steadily gained weight ( I’ll explain the reasons for this soon)
But when I found myself in a position to be able to lose weight I just couldn’t stick to anything, I rebelled against any change to my diet and lifestyle and continued to gain weight despite all my knowledge and experience. (I used to teach back to back spin classes and spend my days writing fitness programmes for clients)
I decided to practice what I preach and take a long hard look at myself.
How was my diet so much better now than when I was a size 10 but yet I’m sitting here a size 18??? I knew I needed to ask myself some questions to dig deep into my subconscious for the answers.
I realised that yes, I used to be a size 10 but back then I used to think I was fat ( I know you can all relate to that!) and I had really low self esteem. I wouldn’t let my boyfriend see me put makeup on because I thought he’d think I was ugly if I had to put makeup on and I suppose in general, I just didn’t know who I was on the inside.
Despite this I was also a HUGE flirt and loved the attention of men. I had very few girl friends but the ones I did have would be out in the clubs with me Thursday through to Sunday seeing who could “pull” the most men. 🤦🏻♀️
It’s not surprising I seeked the validation of myself from others, specifically men, because I didn’t have the understanding and confidence in myself that I now have to not need it. I simply didn’t know who I was then and needed others to show me (so I thought)
And so, as much as I’d love to be a physical size 10 now, I don’t want to be the mental and emotional person I was when I was that size. I have the subconscious fear that if I go back to being a size 10 I will go back to being that person I was back then. ( a self conscious, outrageous flirt with not many girlfriends) As much as my conscious mind knows that’s not going to happen, my subconscious fears are sabotaging my conscious efforts to lose weight.
My subconscious fears don’t want me to attract the attention of men as I’m now a mother and wife. My fears also tell me that if I were to lose the weight I would also lose my much valued girlfriends. You see my subconscious is just trying to protect me and maintain my status quo because right now, despite being fat, life is much better now than it was when I was thin. Mentally and emotionally I’m a much stronger person.
Asking myself these questions, it’s quite clear why I’m not a size 10. Despite all my training and experience, my subconscious mind sabotages all my efforts to protect me from becoming the person I don’t really want to be. It associates the size I was with the experiences I had and the person I was at that body size. Despite having a great time in my 20’s it’s not the lifestyle I want for myself now.
Can you see now why you might be struggling to lose weight or maintain your weight loss?
Ask yourself what size / weight you would like to be.....
Now consider what was happening in your life when you were last that size or weight.......
Why might you not want to go back to being like that?
What part of yourself or your lifestyle back then does not fit into your life now?
Once you know your limiting beliefs relating to weight loss and size, we can get to work removing these blocks and creating new beliefs about our ideal size and weight.
Want to change your weight or size for good?
Ask yourself the questions in the post above and then contact me to learn how to create new beliefs for long lasting change
I’m currently working on a 12wk weight loss programme that I’ve devised to nourish my mind and body whilst clearing my negative beliefs.
I’ve got a few really simple techniques that are already clearing my emotional blockages relating to many issues surrounding my weight
.The aim of the programme is to nourish and reset the 7 systems of our being to create balance and and restore health and restore us to a natural healthy weight
The programme is designed to be natural and realistic, sustainable lifestyle plan. without faddish diets and unrealistic exercise (let’s face it, if you liked to exercise you probably wouldn’t be overweight right now huh!)
So if this is something that interests you, drop me an email and I’ll put you on the launch waiting list
( psssst. As this is a new course everyone on the wait list will get the course HALF PRICE!)
Hopefully I’ll see you on the list.... you’re future self will thank you for it 😘
Mental health is finally getting the spotlight it deserves. We have finally woken up to the fact that we are emotional beings experiencing life not only physically but mentally too.
We are more than happy to help those in physical pain and discomfort but mental and emotional pain have been brushed under the carpet for so long, I for one am glad that the carpet is now being ripped up and exposing the reality that we have all suffered at some point in our life.
The thing is, we live in a world of free information, we can learn about anything and everything at the click of a button. We teach our kids about they way of the world but rarely teach them about themselves; why they think and feel the way they do, what affects the way they think and feel and how to recognise when they don’t feel quite right within themselves.
The trouble is we’ve become so disconnected within ourselves that we are unable to recognise our own emotional states let alone educate our children as to what they are, why and how they experience them and how they can manage them.
If we taught children about their emotions we would have a generation that understands ALL emotions are normal and are experienced by EVERYBODY at some point during their lives. We could develop a generation that is understanding of one another and feels connected and that they belong. Because deep down that’s all we all want to feel...... like we are part of something greater than ourselves and that we have our place no matter how big or small. 🧡